Humiliated and Depressed
by smashdrunk
Summary: The story of "Bandit" Keith Howard and his quest for revenge against his bitter rival, Maximillion Pegasus.
1. That Sick Bastard

Every time he closed his eyes, Keith Howard saw the cynical smile of his mortal enemy Maximillion Pegasus. He was humiliated and depressed at the end of the Duel Monsters Championship title match, when that sick bastard Pegasus used a random punk kid from the audience to come and finish him. The proud Bandit Keith, he was called bandit by his mother, Mother Howard, could not wrap his head around how this psycho defeated him the way he did. Keith wanted revenge, even if it meant getting his hands on Pegasus one way or the other.

Getting ready to go to Pegasus' castle on his own private island, which Keith hated him even more for the fact he had his own castle on his own island, he trained non stop both physically and duel-istically. Hours in the gym, beating away at punching bags that looked like Pegasus. Everything looked like Pegasus to him. He was on a strict of regimen of Bruce Springsteen and T-Bone steak, cooked to perfected crispness by the grilling prowess of Mother Howard. He wanted to get every last bit of America he could get before he left for the yaoi shores of Japan. He went to heavy metal concerts, strip clubs, and McDonald's playplaces, meeting anyone he could to help him perfect his skill. He met no one that could help him and because of this he went back to Mother Howard's strong arms for a last embrace. He was ready.

"Mom! I'm heading out!" the 26 year old, fully grown man said as he left his mother's house to start his journey to bump heads with MP.

"Keither, where are you going?" said poor Mother Howard, worried that her son might leave her the same way her husband did. To another man.

"I'm going to find a certain man.." said Keith, only confirming his mother's fears. She cried her way back into her Lazy Boy.

"Mother, it's not like that." He sighed and knelt beside her. "Remember that tournament that I entered? I was humiliated and depressed at the end of the Duel Monsters Championship title match, when that sick bastard Pegasus used a random punk kid from the audience to come and finish me."

"Just tell me son, my only son. Are you... gay? You know how un-American that is, to be-"

Keith was shocked. "Mother Howard! Are you seriously calling your son, your only son, an, un-American homosexual?"

"No, I just-" He suckerpunched her square in the jaw.

"You... are dead to me." No one could get away with calling him un-American and come out unscathed. He picked up his bags and left solemnly.

His mother... his own mother. It was all he could think about as he paddleboated his way across the Pacific Ocean, with no map or sense of direction. How could Pegasus do this to my mother, my poor, voluptuous, sex kitten Mother Howard! He will pay for making me feel humiliated and depressed at the end of the Duel Monsters Championship title match, when that sick bastard Pegasus used a random punk kid from the audience to come and finish me.

_Mother... Tell your children not to walk my way... tell your children not to hear my words, what they mean, what they say, mother... MOTHHHERRRR... HOWARDDDDD_


	2. Born in the US, Blazed

The ocean's waves beat Keith senseless like his gay father did when he was a child.

"You'll never be as strong and beautiful as your older half brother, Half Brother Howard!" Father Howard bellowed as he beat his son senseless like a gay father would.

Snapping back and forth between the past and present, Keith only found his hatred for his seductive arch nemesis growing more. The stinging of his past bruises and lacerations fueled him and brought strength to his proud American arms as he pumped furiously with his paddles. His tight wet shirt now being tested and torn by his rippling pectoral muscles. Kaioken was achieved by Keith on this day, for Mother Howard was 1/38th Saiyan, making him fully capable of reaching any level of power imaginable. Too bad it took him 5 episodes to use Kamehameha.

He knew he was close to MP's island. He could smell the desuu of Japan nearing and estimated another five million paddles till he arrived in his makeshift paddleboat, which he fashioned out of two tortoises he stole from the San Diego Zoo. He was not for animal abuse and manipulation until the night when he felt humiliated and depressed at the end of the Duel Monsters Championship title match, when that sick bastard Pegasus used a random punk kid from the audience to come and finish him. Pushing the thought of that night out of his mind, he pressed on.

He was getting hungry after all those hours of strenuous paddling, so he pulled out Mother Howard's lunch she gave him just before he cleaned her clocks with that haymaker prior in the day. Sadly, he had devoured most of it earlier, so he plunged his burly fists deep into the water and grabbed a fish.

"Fucking sushi. I hate this shit," he said to himself in between hatred-fueled bites. He felt the America leave his body with every swallow and gulp. But he could see the tops of the castle in the distance, sheltered by trees on every side. He could smell the kawaii emanating off of Pegasus.. "Shit, I'm almost there" Keith realized, "Better blaze up." He took out his hitter and packed a tight ass bowl and got turnt.

When Keith reached the shores of the island, he stumbled out of the boat and nearly collapsed from sheer exhaustion and lack of America in his system. Luckily, he brought his iPod and listened to Dragonforce's Through the Fire and the Flames to get him smashed drunk as fuck like back in 6th grade whenever he played that track on Guitar Hero on Medium in practice mode to see how far he could get before failing. Mad bitches flocked to him, but now he was the mad bitch flocking towards Pegasus. And he was waka flocking hard.

He infiltrated the castle grounds by shooting his web at the cameras surrounding the area and then webslinged up to the castle's higher walls, using his Keither senses to dodge infra-red sensors and guards on duty. Little to say, he killed all of the guards by snapping their necks and throwing them to the alligators in the moat. But the castle was covered in kryptonite and Keith immediately became incapacitated. He passed out. Weak as fuck.

He awoke, tucked into a queen-sized goose feather bed under floral sheets that smelled slightly of lavender. Weaker as fuck. Keither as fuck.

"Ugh," Keith grunted,"maybe i shouldn't have Springsteen'd so hard. I can't even move..."

There was a creaking and the sound of footsteps from the walls behind him and this is when he finally started to make out his surroundings. This was Pegasus' room! Keith only realized this as there were naked pictures of Pegasus hanging from every corner of the wall. Pegasus as an archangel, Pegasus as a baby, and Mokuba. Naked. Keith was about to scream out of bad taste before the door opened and a dim light turned on to reveal a shadowy, womanly figure that was probably MP but Keith was still too mad blazed to tell.

"Well, look who finally came to..."


	3. Port Town Aero Dive

"Mother...Mother Howard, is...is that you?" Keith weakly inquired.

"I can treat you like my baby if you want me to :3" said a sultry voice back to him.

Mother Howard would never make that bold of a statement, lil Keither thought.

"Pegasus!" screeched Keith in his head, looking at the long, feminine shadow.

Silence, as they both looked at each other awkwardly.

"Pegasus!" screeched Keith in his big boy voice, the curvacious figure now coming closer to him. The light from the green apple scented candles that were in the room started to cascade over the figure and make it visible. He was wearing a purple, ruffled shirt, with a deep plunging V neck going all the way down to his belly button. Belly button; pierced with a Hello Kitty ring. Below that, he was wearing the tightest black skinny jeans a man could possibly wear, with moccasins and designer socks. Keith gave him the quick up and down with his eyes, and he loved it. But he hated MP too much to say it. Instead, all he could say was,  
"I was humiliated and depressed at the end of the Duel Monsters Championship title match, when-"

"That sick bastard Pegasus used a random punk kid from the audience to come and finish me. I know, I know. I'm that sick bastard." Pegasus finished with a smile as he took off his Ray Ban aviator sunglasses to get a better look at young Keith. And he gave him that thirsty look.

That sick bastard, Keith thought, still way too faded and slizzered to move a muscle.

Pegasus carefully placed his aviators onto a bust of himself and sat near the side of the bed. With his back towards KH, he sunk his head and said, "Now Keith, I thought you had learned your lesson the first time but it's obvious you didn't... What were you expecting to do here, at this time of night?" Pegasus turns his head and beams his over exaggerated and totally kawaii anime eyes at Keither. "Were you trying to...kill me?"  
"Yes! Yes, goddammitsonofabitch! All I've ever wanted to do after you H and D'd me was get my hands on you and-" Keith was interrupted as Pegasus quickly snatched both of Keith's limp, clammy hands and placed them on Pegasus' pecs. Instantly, Keith's mood changed in a way only the emoticon of a big o period little o could capture.

"...And do what with me?;)" purred the majestic Pegasus. He then interlocked his fingers with Keith's and squeezed. In the background, silently fading in..

_Wamp wamp waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahmmpppp..._

_I've been really tryin , baby_

_Tryin to hold back these feelings for so long_

_And if you feel, like I feel baby_

_Come on, oh come on,_

_Let's get it on_

**Is the end for Keith? Will Pegasus get his way before our mighty hero does? Was Keith's keef that paralyzing that he's still this turnt? Find out in the next chapter of HUMILIATED AND DEPRESSED Z.**


End file.
